There are so many fears in life: Those all too familiar fears from the past; present fears, some being sudden and intense, while other not so sudden and nagging; and the fears of the future, which we only hold a faint realization of, as they are not yet before us.

Those future fears, though faint as they may appear, often surprise us as having the strongest influence upon us. It is what causes worry and depression; and like a hot iron forged within the intense heat of burning coals ...brand us with marks of the very character of our beings.

The fear of the unknown is often diagnosed as the worst. The past cannot be changed. The present never remains the present, but the future always lies ahead ...and it contains the lies of whatever the unknown can conjure up.

What can be done to avoid being seared with the mark that burns within us ...penetrating that which protects our fragile exterior, while getting under our skin, and destroying the layers of our actual inner being? We need our skin ...it is what allows us to feel. And what allows us to feel is unquestionably one of the greatest things going for us. But what we feel ultimately, is not with our senses, but is rather a result of what lies beneath.

What happens if what lies beneath us is a lie, in itself? And don't we need to look beyond ourselves to really see what is beneath? Yes, this is where the unknown becomes known. This is where fear can penetrate the fog, and allow us to see the light that frees us.

It is the light that gives us clear vision, so we can see beyond fear ...to contentment, and dare I say, even the comfort of a shared joy.

There is a place where all fears meet: past, present, and future. Those fears meld all into one. But all the tenses of fear ...and senses of it, can be disspelled by simply trimming our lamps, and having enough oil to light our way.

Sadly, we often feel we just can't move on! It is the past fears that drag on and on, haunting us ...even in our subconscience. But even within the haunting experience, we can be renewed. This is the experience I had ...in my dream.

It was a different sort of dream, though it began with a common recurring theme. It involved a fear I commonly had years ago, from lack of preparation. Obviously, it is still lingering!

In my dream, a report was due. I had not even begun my report ...and it was already due! My friend, Pierre, handed me his report to look at. It was entitled, "Friendship." I was overwhelmed by the dedication and effort put into it. He must have put hours upon hours of work into it. I imagined the long days ...and weeks of tireless effort, striving towards not merely achieving a "good grade," but producing something that had great depth and meaning, beyond the skin.

During this precise moment of my dream, it was not just the fear of not personally being prepared. That fear was replaced by something other than fear ...by the turning of a page.

No longer was I overcome by my individual shortcomings, but by the accomplishment of one whose depth of friendship I had not fully realized.

The first half dozen pages were photocopies of a road. That road passed the delicate outstretched arms of a brilliant redbud. That road passed a concrete wall, with the rich aroma of deep purple lilacs bordering on the other side. That road passed a friendly old dog, sleeping within the cool comfortable shade of a birch tree. That road passed the home of my parents; a road my friend and I walked many a times, filled with meaningful conversation. At the time, I hadn't realized how meaningful ...until now, as I read Pierre's dedication, a testimony to our friendship.

At this moment, I was overcome with so many emotions. One of those emotions was regret, a common condition of life itself, that we live our life without full realization of what has always been there ...what is there now!

My next reaction was my own sadness, generated from the realization of my own shortcomings. I immediately began to write this, my own report of how we often overlook the greatest aspects of life.

I decided to use a favorite photograph for the cover of my own report. At this moment, the photograph took on an even deeper meaning. My mind traveled quickly into the past, even beyond my own lifetime. I traveled beyond my own realm of experiences, to feelings of past generations. Through this sudden new insight and perspective, I now felt I had a unique grasp of what they must have experienced.

The photograph was mostly of a beautiful birch tree, set out near the rock's edge, overlooking the shimmering waters. Millions upon millions of flashing watery prisms, eventually soften, fading to the horizon. My mind began to wander in two separate directions, both of which were so enrapturing, I felt regret that I could not travel in both directions at the same time.

In one direction, I felt linked with a past that kept me bound to this land, this nation I call "home." I looked to the statuesque birch tree, always one of my favorites. Delving into the past, I recalled how it had also been a favorite to the Indians. I imagined the preparation, and the hours of dedicated work put into the step-by-step precise craftmanship necessary to build the birchbark canoe.

In reality, I could not even dream of its construction, but I was dreaming ...and at this moment, I "was" the Indian. Throughout my winter's hunting, I had kept an eye out for just the right birch tree ...one that would provide maximum surface for a canoe. And I finally found the ideal tree. The family shared my excitement! My wife began preparing the cedar wood that needed to be soaked several days in hot water for the ribs of the canoe. My son had collected spruce roots. My daughter had collected spruce gum, now adding some fat to the mixture to boil over a fire. I worked hard, as did the entire family, until sundown. We were all exhausted. We didn't have to gather together for the evening meal ...we were together all day. But, I have to admit, mealtime was the best part: We relaxed together, we ate together, and we laughed together. We reflected upon the day, and we appreciated what we had. It wasn't much, but the much we did have ...was each other.

As I again return to the photo of the birch tree, my mind takes me in another direction, out over the shimmering waters, fading to the horizon. Upon close inspection of the photo, "to the horizon" reveals a structure reaching above the rich blues and greens; beyond the shimmering lights, flashing off the waves of Lake Michigan, yet still well within the expansive waters. And all conceived and constructed within a century's time ...that towering landmark, the Mackinaw Bridge. Considering the commitment, dedication, and sacrifice put into its construction, no doubt it was nicknamed the "Mighty Mac." Yet, so much is taken for granted, and most of the time little thought is associated with that sort of thing. Today, most would probably assume the "Mighty Mac" to be a new entree among a long list of McDonald's burgers.

All at once, I saw the past history of the Indians ...and the more recent bridging of a wide range of people, their land, and their ideas; creating the present beauty I now see ...and can continue to see.

Preparation, dediation, and commitment ...all go hand-in-hand. The hands of the strong ...and the delicate hands. Those hands that drew up the plans ... and the calloused hands that carried them out. The delicate hands that lovingly prepared meals, and perhaps a backrub, or the massaging of tired feet.

I sat up in bed, then hurried downstairs, not knowing how to express those intense feelings; yet, knowing I am not a true writer, in the sense of being able to share effectively with others what I feel ...even beyond what I feel. But I knew I had to try. It means so much to me, I must try!

Suddenly, yet another realization overcomes me. Instead of trying to match the emotion that began all of this, should I not first pay tribute? Should I not, instead ...just call Pierre, and tell him of my appreciation? After all, he obviously put many long nights doing what I'm attempting to do in these rapid moments of notetaking. Instead of doing my own thing, I should instead share Pierre's work with others. After all, it was Pierre's realization of true friendship that effectively brought this all to light ...that which he was able to communicate to me, that I feel inadequate to communicate to you. Shouldn't I just refer you to Pierrre, and to what he wrote?

Wait a minute ...I can't do that! I'd like to, but I can't! It's not that Pierre wouldn't approve and give me permission, it's just that ...well, remember, it was just a dream!

Well, it wasn't just a dream ...I feel God gave me the dream. And this is much about realization. Don't many of us have those same sort of dreams ...and if we have any bit of God in our lives, it bears much significance to say we feel it came from God. After all, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report ...don't we feel those things are from God?

And this all began with Pierre's report, in my dream. So now, I can claim it. It's mine! It's not really Pierre's testimony to our friendship, it's mine now! Though I'm sure Pierre would testify to our close friendship ...and we did walk down that road often, talking mostly about God. And the testimony is not just mine ...I was just kidding. It would be absurd to say that I felt God gave me the dream, and claim it's to my credit ...after all, wouldn't it be to the glory of God? Why would I attempt to write anything with my own ineptness, when all I need to do is glorify God? God created the beginning ...and the relationship that we must all realize, culminated in sending us His Son, Jesus, as a free will offering of that friendship. Yes, that's the title of Pierre's report, in my dream. But the truly deep friendship I'm now referring to is the one described throughout the New Testament of the Bible ...a story which Pierre and I believe to be true, and often shared with one another.

Old and New Testament, all inclusive, it more than adequately presents God's love for us; and the friendship He set forth for us ...in sending us Jesus. How can we not see and understand? This year was the culmination of my long days, weeks, months, and years of effort ...in finally coming out with the book, "The Evolution of Confusion." I also wanted to write something that I wanted you to see and understand. But I wanted to show you something different for the purpose of something that isn't different ...which hasn't presented anything new, since the New Testament nearly two thousand years ago. This is how we can best be served, not by our own efforts, but by what we've had with us all along ...God's indepth record of His love.

We are drawn in different directions. There are countless directions we allow ourselves to branch out into: Within ...and out and about rocky clefts, formed by desperate roots and icy fissures; or out over shimmering waters, taking in life's present beauty. Both are actually part of the beauty; as we are unable to separate the present beauty from the sometimes bitter struggle that was necessary to bring us to that moment. It should be clear in God's Word that we are to take joy in His Creation, but only in the areas that He clearly says we are to take joy in. And we can read of the struggles, hopefully learning from what is written in His Word, experiencing as much of the joy that He has for us, without having to experience every struggle since the beginning of time.

But sometimes our experiential joy takes us away from the beauty of the realization of our friendship with Him. At times we cannot see the bridge, the truth of Jesus ...who creates the bridge from one land to the next. Sometimes a true friend will do what we may consider difficult for us to accept at a particular time ...but that friend will endure our rejection through that struggle, waiting for the frienship to be restored in that area. Accepting the realization of that depth of friendship can only produce a deepeer friendship. Each of us can go to God's Word, to view what I can't describe; that which can only be seen through the depths of His Holy Spirit.

If what we feel contradicts with what is in His Word, then how can we be so bold as to claim it is the Holy Spirit at all? Be sure what lies ahead is not filled with lies. Let it strictly adhere to what is clearly written in the Bible.

Sin becomes such a word that none of us want to have anyone point to us ...as the one being presently in sin. We may use the cliche that we are all sinners, saved by grace, of course. But that which is important to God, He mentions in His Word, and we should not minimize the importance of it ...while relying on the fact that God loves us, and because of that fact, everything is just fine.

I am saddened when I hear, "Well, God knows how I am." But do we truly know how God is, or who God is? Of course, He loves us! And He will forgive us ...but He also wants us to repent of things that draw us to any degree away from Him. Repent means "change." How many of our behaviors do we superficially reconcile within ourselves by saying, "Oh well, God understands me."

To what degree do we really want to change? Or do we really want to change at all? We may merely claim we are sinners, saved by grace ...knowing we are living in the Sodom and Gomorrah of today, waiting for God to get the lot of us out. Or we can take a different approach, trimming our lamps ...with preparation, dedication, and true commitment.

Terrorists are those who, for whatever reason, bring evil-minded intimidation or the terror of violence into our lives, often claiming we deserve it. Often it becomes more or less a Pharisaic approach, perhaps claiming we are immoral, and they are doing God's will. None of us that I know of, have the authority to say that. Are we immoral? Without a doubt! But I don't believe it is God's approach to terrorize those whom He has commissioned us to witness to.

In the Bible, it is clear when God says He let another nation go against His people because of their sin. If we think we have enemies, I think it of less impact ...than compared to how we have individually slipped away from God. And if we slip away from God, whose hands do we think are waiting to receive us?

But like I said, we can claim authority over something that is not ours to claim, or we could be in error, as Job's friends were. We can incorrectly draw analogies, and that would be of no good. But it doesn't hurt to take a close look at where we've departed from ...where we've gone morally wrong.

Though I am absolute with what I believe, I'm not suggesting a hardline approach with those who've been disillusioned. We send missinaries to other countries ...where the people of that country may have fallen away, off the mark (Luke, John, and Matthew too). We should have a loving approach. We should have the same approach to those who live around us, though we should certainly have a clear approach; always hoping to maximize a return to God's approach, while not convincing ourselves that God is less than eternal, softening in His old age, as we optimize our own wisdom for the day.

We speak of revivals, but we'll never come close to realizing one, unless we look to personally changing everything that draws us to any degree towards something that in our deepest heart we know is not truly our deepest heart.

Can we change all at once? No, but we must at least make the effort ...to try. Should we all try to accomplish our own high grades, our impressive reports, and strive to show others our good report card? No, we are only graded by one standard. That standard is too high for any of us to achieve. Only Jesus achieved it ...but He achieved it for us!

What we need to achieve is not accomplished within ourselves ...we cannot do it! But we can strive towards the importance of it; put it foremost in our lives; and not maximize the Name, while minimizing the significance of the standard He provides. There is more than the fact of Jesus ...there is the "character". How can we possibly accept His Name, without accepting the detailed page after page description of our God, who He is, what He says, and what He wants for us? We can't! Of course, I'm speaking to Christians here ...because I already know how the rest of you do it. Non-believers do not accept who He is ...so, certainly wouldn't acknowledge what He says. But what is our excuse?

So what do we do? I've seen so many attempts. We can all be a part of it, each shimmering light, casting out our combined brilliance. Yes, Jesus reached out with His love to the woman at the well ...but He left her with the Word, to worship Him in spirit and in truth. And to another He said, "Neither do I condemn you: go, and sin no more."

So, how many of us, after being motivated by a speaker, a social event, or weekend retreat with others ...go, filled with energy, meaning, and purpose? And what do we do with that feeling? I suggest that we do the same in our elevated spiritual state, as we do in a deflated spiritual state ...we go, and sin no more.

We must go! Because we would be, as is often overstated, "too spiritually minded, to be any earthly good".

This being true, because our commission is to go, to spread the gospel. But how do we spread the gospel to a world that has saturated us with wisdom, so much so, that we have maximized it to the point of minimizing it? The tenets of what we believe (the tenets of the tenant) have become so cliche, that they have lost their effectiveness for the most part. So what do we do? May I suggest we look closely at the tenant ...what occupies us, and who dwells there?

Try listing five things that you feel are most important to you. I will start out by listing the first two for you: God; and family. Okay, now you have to list only three. Let's make it outside of work, school, or your occupation: List three things that generate most of your time and effort. Outside of your routine church activity, when other members of the family are consumed with something else, and work obligations are out of the way ...when it's called "you" time, what occupies most of your time? What do we most look forward to ...during what we call our free time?

It's good to enjoy things, but what if someone asked you to commit to something to the extent that you had to give up those three things? Now remember, we're not talking about church, family, work, or other important obligations. Let's imagine that we schedule something that we routinely don't schedule. That is usually what happens for the period of time we listen to a speaker (spiritual leader), attend a seminar, or go on a retreat: We give up the something we would be doing if we hadn't attended; we dedicate our time more intimately with God; and we also refocus on what we want to accomplish together, instead of the individual joy we perchance would fill our time with.

And there are those of us who may have to admit we already enjoy the things that fill our day: and we feel no need to change. No need to challenge the nature of our present Christian lives. So though we claim to be energized from a seminar or retreat, we quickly fade into a reality of life ...a life that's really not all it could be.

What must we do? We must go back to work, and tend to our lives. That may be less than desireable at times ...at least less desireable than when we were on the retreat. We may want to retreat from it all, but we must live our lives! Yet, we don't need to fill our own individual voids with joys of temporary value either ...often of the shallow variety.

We see a very effective process in what we call the "political machine". It begins, however, long before the primaries. There is certainly an unparalleled intensity through the next two seasons from early spring, through summer, and well into the fall ...to that acclaimed glorious first Tuesday in November.

Now, what can be said of the truth, or promises kept after that day? Well, that's an entirely different story! Yet, we cannot dispute the effectiveness of that political process. But effectiveness as a group is not always the standard to be aspired to; especially if the proof of longevity is heaped with compromise, often promising the moon ...as is often the case in politics.

So, how are we to achieve effectiveness then? What about the other aspects of our lives, such as our Christian walk? I am not at all talking about collective salvation. I don't believe in that. We need to spend our own personal time with God, and walk the personal walk He would have us walk. If we individually focus more on Jesus, than ourselves, then everything else becomes less perceived as a problem. And the truth aspect becomes clearer, as does our path. As for the effectiveness, what can be said of that?

We energize ourselves through attending a seminar, or a retreat once or twice a year ...and attend church regularly, but what about our organizing into smaller groups for effectiveness ...and meeting to acccomplish something, if no less than group accountability?

After all, the "political machine" deals with ideologies. But unlike that process, we can have truth on our side; we can actually live it ...past the elections. I'm not saying that all politicians lie ...it's just that by telling the truth, they minimize their chances of winning. Sadly, I'd say the majority of the people usually don't want to hear the truth ...until of course, the lie manifests itself past the point that most of us can handle.

Of course, we've heard this all before, right? So why even try? Because it's what helps us not slip away from who we really are. It guards us against complacency, and from falling so easily back into our old ways. And don't we feel better when we try, than when we don't?

I realize that we are in the age of information overload, the informational tower of Babel (or babble, I'm not sure which spelling works best). And as it is, we have access to so much information, that we lightly absorb much and take little seriously. So my efforts of writing a book just gets added to the heap, and remains oblivious ...not even known, for the most part. Aside from those whom helped edit the book, including my wife, I only know of three who have read it ...two being my own parents.

So how does that motivate me? I feel like giving up, but this blog has me somehow still going on! Though I know of no individual personally who reads them ...yet, I'm still trying.

And what I'm trying to impress mostly is: Read your Bible! Be dedicated to keeping with it, be prepared to discuss it, and be committed to try to live it! And trim your lamp, so you can see where you are going ...when the time comes to go. In the meantime, if you're waiting, perhaps you can build a birch canoe ...or establish the principles behind it. At least attempt to build some sort of improved relationship with your family ...and God.